Long Torso Syndrome

May 20, 2010 — 21 Comments

I rant about big Pharma instilling fear in the weak and making them self diagnose their ailments. But there is a legitimate problem that some people face that there is no known cure or treatment for. Long Torso Syndrome affects men and women alike. They suffer in silence, weeping quietly as their exposed navels freeze in the wind.

I am tired of hiding my long yet svelt frame under XL and XXL clothing. Looking like a toothpick wearing a garbage bag just to get clothes that will cover my belt (its python skin). It’s time to cast away the shame and talk about this affliction.

My friend Sean is 6’8.. standing next to him I (at 6’4) feel short.  Sitting next to him on a plane and I can peer down at his growing bald spot on his head. (kidding about hin losing his hair.. he uses 2x Mega!)

My wife is 5’8 and wears longer inseam pants than I do.

I have donated $1000′s worth of shirts and sweaters to charity after washing them once.

At 185 lbs I am Tall, not Big and Tall (fuck you dept stores and your must be 290lbs to get a T size).

My family is average height.. but even My older brother Jay at a respectable 5’7 has flintstone legs compared to his freakish extend-o-matic torso.

Who's the tall guy? My gawd look at his Torso

Shame no MORE!

I invite others afflicted with this condition to comment here, share your stories and how you cope. And please please share where you buy clothes or what brands work.

I for one have purchased a closet full of American Apparel T-shirts as they are slim fit and LONG, they fit so great.

PS: Ginor‘s Unite! We demand Exit row seating on airplanes and we demand it NOW!


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21 responses to Long Torso Syndrome

  1. My bro is 6’2″ with a shorter inseam than mine. He found ONE type of shirt he loves, and buys the same brand over and over.

    My suggestion that he invest in some jewelry around his stomach and/or a REALLY fancy belt were ignored, but that might work for you. Something dangly, perhaps?

  2. @tyler
    You must ask your brother to share his story.. and more importantly the brand of shirt.

  3. Try being a fat man with a long torso.

  4. I think that Strebel family line-up needs to apply for that AT&T commercial: more bars in more places.

    I call shenanigans. on the bald spot btw, that’s just plain giraffe jealousy right there ;-)

  5. bwahahaha! i can SO relate. so glad someone has taken the time to stand tall and speak out about this affliction.
    try adding superlong gorilla arms into the mix as well. THAT one is super fun when searching for long sleeved shirts.

    my solution: lots and lots on old navy tanks under all my stupid ass “regular people” sized shirts. or i just wear dresses.

    that last one probably won’t help you out much though. i mean, unless you are into that sort of thing. i don’t judge.

  6. I’m late on this post but…

    My husband is 6′- 5+” and 185 lbs; we shop for him for shirts at the Eddie Bauer outlet because they have the tall sizes. He has a pair of Seven For All Mankind jeans that look great on, but he doesn’t wear them often because they aren’t basic Levi’s, which many times doesn’t have 36 inseam in the wash he wants. We’ll have to check out the American Apparel T-shirts.

    On the other hand, I am 5’3 1/2″ and have to hem everything, because petites are sometimes too short. I wish I had a pair of Seven’s…

  7. Lord this is the first i have found others like me!

    And your statement about the tall vs big & tall is so true… Im tall, but not big.. And have a huge torso… I have a friend who is just as tall as me, but his legs come up to the bottom of my ribs. I on the other hand have most of it in torso. I ace recently found that xxl shirts from old navy survive washes very well…. Im still trying to find jeans that fit well both standing up and sitting down… What fits me perfect standing up has to be unbuttoned sitting down… But just with jeans for some Reason….

    Also has anyone noticed this having effect on your dancing ability? Ive had to learn to dance a bit differently than i would at first, just so i can bob and weave at the same timing as others.

    I heard on another site that there was an asian saying about long backs being lazy… That would be me to a T… Not that i can’t work hard, just that i will bust my butt so that i can sit around if that makes any sense…. Just because i prefer to be lounging. That could just be me though…. At the same time I enjoy things like basketball, volleyball, etc.

    I do tend to hunch over if im not self correcting for it….

    Im interested on how this effects circulation…. For example, i know long legs can cause a problem, but how does a long torso fit into the picture?

  8. aye man i feel you… im 6″2 weighing about 170 with a lot of work at the gym already.. my shirts are washed and ruined most the time but i found wearing ralph lauren polos are usually long enough and skinny enough to cover my enormous torso. Make sure you stretch your shirts back after the washer

  9. yes, i have found that to be true with ralpj lauren polos as well.

  10. Haha white people April 12, 2011 at 1:15 am

    This is a dominant trait among Asians…. I’m especially bad when compared to other Asians.(I’m Asian)
    I have bad posture due to slouching and sticking my legs out. I recently come to terms with it and am embracing it. Having bad posture is badly impacting me.

  11. Just came upon this blog while searching for womens clothing for LOOOOONNNNNNnnnnnnnng torso’s…..very depressing search I might add, especially beacause I am big too =/ I have a neice who is 5’3″ and my inseam is the same even though I am 5’8″ it’s horrible!!! even when I wasn’t big it was horrible!! and to top it all off, i have really short (as my children say, T-Rex arms)…wish i knew how to sew…that’s for sure. Good luck in your search for well fitting clothing

  12. Finally! There are some people out there with the long torso syndrome! EVERYTHING is too short on me! Tyler, what kind of t-shirts does your brother get??

  13. Hey, if you can post where I can find clothing, I will love you forever! I am searching online right now. Imagine if you will a woman who cannot wear a one-piece bathing suit, and who always looks like she is trying to show off her midriff. So awkward. And the “larger spots where your breasts are supposed to go” on every shirt are kind of under the armpits, and there is an empty baggy part of the shirt right above the actual breasts. You try pulling it down and it stretches over the breasts making you look like Ms. Cleavage who also BTW has an exposed midriff. What a ho, am I right? So you buy the XL, and the “slim part” which is supposed to be on your “natural waist” is actually OVER your BREASTS because, well, it just is. And size “TALL” is only for pants. As if when you get taller, it is only the legs that grow. And you can’t buy a dress, because the “hip” part that is wide actually lands at the “waist” on your body which is the narrow part, and the “boob” part lands on your upper chest. Thanks for listening.

  14. I still can’t find pants/shorts that don’t have to be two sizes larger than necessary in order for them not to have to be buttoned directly over my butt. The low rise friend is NOT friends with long torso people!

    I have found shirts and bathing suits, though! Old Navy has a tall women’s line. The shirts are fabulously long! Now, if I can only find pants to go with them…..suggestions?

  15. I suffer from the same affliction. It is very hard to find shirts long enough and I, too, have sent many to goodwill after only one washing. I have found that J.Crew t-shirts fit longer, yet they are so thin. I have found that Gap Tall will work but the quality and thickness of the fabric is inconsistent. The white is always too thin to wear alone. Hanes, Lee, and Ralph Lauren are way way way too short. Don’t even go there.

  16. I’m 6’3 with a 32″ inseam. As previously stated, I can wear a shirt one time then next time I wear it you can see my belly button.

    I have found that Kirkland Signature t-shirts fit nice. American Eagle sells LT shirts on line.

    I too have poor posture and can’t stand up straight unless I force myself.

  17. American Apparel 50/50 blend T shirts are the answer for the top half. Express jeans the answer for the bottom half. Trust me on the T-shirts.

  18. I’m 6’3″ 195lbs (I present slim) with a really long torso. I don’t bother buying shirts at most stores. I’m pretty much forced to only buy online. I usually wear a large in most shirts, however, after a wash or two they are way too short. Old navy online has a Tall selection that is fantastic. The quality is great with different materials to choose from and more styles than just solid colors (of which there are many). I wear a medium but the larges fit nice as well just a little roomier for the meaty guys. Very affordable as well.

  19. Thanks for the leads!! I hate shopping for clothes cuz nothing ever fits. Now are all the t shirts at american apparel going to be long enough or just the 50/50 blend?

  20. My solution, as a woman with a very long torso, is to buy men’s shirts. At least t-shirts and button downs for casual wear. For professional wear, I still have problems finding nice looking tops that cover my stomach without looking like I am pregnant or puffing up like a marshmallow.

  21. OK, I am 6’2, have a 31 inch inseam and have skinny, gun boat size 14 shoes. I might as well stick a sign on my back that says “kick me I am goofy lookin”. Mind you, I have always managed to get attractive women like me and even married one. But, you feel pretty distorted when your 5’7″ wife tries your jeans on and laughs because they are 2 inches too short. And, no one sells pants in 31″.

    Although I have always been very muscular (not buffed, just lean muscular), I estimate that a normally proportioned man would have to be 6′ 8″ tall to match my torso length. I have a long neck too which seems to amplify visual effect. Nice friends try and convince me I have a swimmers body. When I was in high school and really thin, people used to call me Goose neck and in retrospect, I have to agree. In track, I ran 1/2 mile and it always seemed like I had to take twice as many strides to keep up with the pack.

    Whenever I find T shirts that athletic cut ( not boxy) and for tall, I by all of them whether I like the color or not.

    So don’t feel bad. That’s my story and I am a pretty happy guy despite my cartoon proportions.

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