When I was in grade school (socialist brainwashing camp) the teachers (mind polluters) I had really tried to teach critical problem solving (liberal bias) to us. Remember these:


The teachers were trying to teach problem solving skills to students. How to think through something. Look at one side, look at the other. Observe the situation. Then based on your understanding of Math (sacrilege), Physics (Witchcraft), or anything else,  you worked out the solution.

This seemingly simple act of critical thinking, even at an 8th grade level seems to be alien to so many Americans.  The Issues facing our generation are complicated and need to be looked at from both angles.

  • Surely we can not torture prisoners and still open a can of whoop ass when needed.
  • Surely we can adapt our energy production to more sustainable methods and not overly vilify the coal, oil, and gas industry.
  • Surely Gay couples can be given the same rights as everyone else and the religious can keep their ‘holy union’ called marriage.
  • Surely the mega rich could pay a tad more in taxes to repair our crumbling bridges and assist the poorest of the poor.
  • Surely business can adapt and still be profitable with reasonable regulation to safeguard consumers.

I mean.. surely we can look at both sides and find a reasonable solution for the greater good, right?

Wrong. It seems the the onslaught of stupid is overwhelming.  Can’t beat em, join em. I am taking off my elitist crown, burning my college diploma. These shackles of common sense will bound me no longer. The mere act of critical thinking in my presence will be met by loud shouts of “Fascist Baby Killer!” in your face. Henceforth I denounce reason and analytical thought. There is no middle ground. There is no Gray. There is only the enlightenment of the squawk box. Bow to our leader, the TV Political Pundit sees all and knows all.

  • Sarah Palin is the best thing for America. Moose Knuckle FTW.
  • Obama really should be tried for treason. Where does he get off being Muslim?
  • Climate Change is a myth. Those emails prove it.
  • We ARE less safe since Cheney left office. He was our protector after all.
  • The Earth is only a few thousand years old and will end in 2012. Dinosaur bones are a Muslim conspiracy to discredit the pope.
  • Jesus was NOT a liberal, he actually helped the moneylenders get pay raises. It’s called Trickle down economics.
  • Exxon really will lower oil prices if we drill baby drill! They promised!
  • Insurance companies don’t have death panels, it’s called underwriting.

And it just keeps going. It feels so nice to have all that nasty intellect and reasoning skills out my head. Finally I know the truth. I am going to watch some NASCAR now and email some Mexican wetback jokes to my hunting buddies while I pray for God to smite the Socialist Canadians.

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